Only in LA – part 2

Read Only in LA part 1 here

Yesterday I went to have coffee with a friend. I sat at the coffee shop with a sinking feeling in my gut. I just knew I had given her the wrong address. After I got her on the phone and confirmed my stupidity, (I’m not allowed to make fun of any other idiots for at least 72 hours, this is my self-imposed punishment) I drove the few extra blocks to the correct coffee shop. It wasn’t even a Starbucks, who knew there were so many chains with stores blocks away from each other. We sure like our overpriced coffee here in L.A.

Anyway, I get there feeling like crap because I left her waiting for a half an hour, and there’s a creepy guy sitting on a table next to her, chatting away with her. Let me remind you, this is at 10 am on a Tuesday. (She’s an actress, I’m a writer, these are our excuses for the free time in the middle of the week.) So, weird guy is in his late 50s (my guesstimate), has a large bag with wheels on it, has a five o’clock shadow, wears several layers of clothing (it was a very sunny day) and a baseball cap.

He was busy showing her some sort of manuscript of something he transcribed when I arrived. He kept on talking for a good five minutes after I sat down, barely allowing me to get a “Hi, sorry I’m an idiot” in.

Boy, did he have things to say. He told us how he once lived in the valley, and how he doesn’t have a car or needs one in L.A. He must be the only one, I thought. He also told us about his love for movies, Paris Hilton and the City of Pasadena. He also managed to use the priceless line: “Do you collect anything?” after telling us about his passion for antiques and coin collecting.



You must be wondering what we did to entice him into befriend us, telling us so many personal things and monopolizing most of our coffee time. The answer is: nothing. We just sat there, wishing he’d take a hint, nodding and smiling. Women are way too nice. If I were crazy looking and approached some random guy, he’d for sure walk away. But I just don’t have in my to be rude to an apparently harmless nut.

Eventually he got quiet and started going through some coins he took out of his bag. We also spent a large amount of time in the bathroom. (Sorry, I couldn’t help but notice.) We got on with our conversation and ended up having a very good time talking about career goals, life, husbands and the film industry in general.

Creepy guy even felt the need to say good-bye to us before he left. He let us know he had to go to catch the Pasadena Library still open. I know, I was just dying to know where he was going from there. I’m surprised he didn’t ask for our phone numbers…

I believe L.A. is one of the few places in this planet where certain characters like this roam through the streets, populate coffee shops, laundry mats, restaurants and other businesses. They walk among the actors, musicians, filmmakers, writers and other artists. And because artists can be a little eccentric they blend in seamlessly, until they come up to you on a Tuesday morning.

I wondered where he lived and what he did for money, but maybe that’s the beauty and mystery of a character like him.

Feel free to use him as a character in your next novel or screenplay.