Here's to Women!

I did a little investigating this morning. I went to the Oscars website and got the numbers for the women ever nominated in the two writing categories. I have to say I was expecting to be angry. To see us so underrepresented. The fact is, at the very first ceremony in 1928 there was a woman nominated. An unofficial nomination as they did in those days but, Josephine Lovett was nominated for "Our Dancing Daughters".

Eighty years, two writing categories, five nominees in each category equals a total of 800 nominees. (Is my math right?) There have been a total of 123 women nominated. Wait a minute, I am angry. That's only 15% of all nominees! How many women are in this country? About 51%? Is that right? When I saw 123 I thought, we came a long way. And I guess we did. But there's a long way to go.
Nominees for the screenwriting categories

Out of the total 160 winners, 20 were women. (Sorry, received the Oscar, I forgot we don't say "the winner is" anymore. It creates too much competition. I just hate our new P.C. world.)

So, here's something else that annoyed me. Straight from the website, here are the women nominated in the Directing category:

Results displayed by award category; sort is chronological
Win indicated by an asterisk (*)


1976 (49th)
DIRECTING

Seven Beauties -- Lina Wertmüller

1993 (66th)
DIRECTING

The Piano -- Jane Campion

2003 (76th)
DIRECTING

Lost in Translation -- Sofia Coppola

Three out of 400 nominees. Zero wins. Does anyone else see a problem here? Why are we being kept away from the director's chair?

Okay, I'll stop now and get back to my own screenplays. But think about this, if the majority of directors and producers are white males how are we ever going to have real diversity in this industry? People focus so much on actors winning the Oscars and their ethnicities, but we should really be worried about the people behind the cameras, choosing who gets to go in front of them...

Premonition

Yesterday I showed up at work after walking in the rain. This co-worker who I like very much was reading a Chinese horoscope book. We had a few minutes to spare with the rain and all not much was going on. She proceeds to read my Chinese horoscope. We came to the conclusion I’m a goat. Kind of funny considering I’m a Capricorn. (Does that mean I’m twice as stubborn?) So, it says the goat is going to have a prosperous year with lots of change, money and maybe even a move. Okay, sounds kind of vague now, I realize, but it got me really pumped up and excited. I got thinking about all the projects I have up in the air and started getting so excited I just knew I was going to come home and check my email and find some good news. Now, you have to understand I really convinced myself. I spent the rest of the day walking on cloud, smiling like a teenager with a secret crush.


So, I was a little more than disappointed to find nothing at all in my inbox. I felt like such an idiot. Giving myself fake hope and getting all worked up over the Chinese horoscope silliness. I was so frustrated with myself and I could barely go to work this morning. I spent the day cranky, wondering if there really isn’t anything else I could do with my life. I still have time to go back to school, right? Is it too late to become an accountant?

And then today I got a little something. I got home and there was the email I expected. No big news, just a quick updated that the script was received and we should hear something soon. That’s the part that kind of gave me goose bumps. I was right, kind of. Was it the universe telling me to be patient? They’ll call my name eventually? I think so. I hope so.

Waiting is the name of the game

One of my scripts was submitted to an actress for her consideration. Now, I have been extremely excited to hear her answer. To me it’s been a long wait. Close to a decade. If you count my early highschool years, even longer. To her only a few months. I understand I’m nobody. I understand everyone was on a forced vacation because of the strike and probably used that time to relax and do family stuff. But it’s killing me! Weeks few like months, days few like weeks when you’re waiting for your career to start. And then to finally hear that she hasn’t read it yet, that her assistant lost the script… Ah, so exhausting. My mother told me to look on the bright side, at least she hasn’t said no. Hehe.



I was also waiting for a yes or no from another producer on another project. I waited and waited twice the length I was told it would take. I finally sent a "just checking email" and waited some more. Nothing. I was getting pretty paranoid. I started thinking that everyone hated me for reasons unknown to myself. It was all a big conspiracy to see how long I would hold out before killing myself. Well, I showed them! I'm still here. Then I heard from my mother that she never got one of my emails. I went and check my spam folder. There it was, the message that said "failure notice." My email to my mom had bounced back. I also found a response from the producer. It said: "Haven't read it yet, will let you know." My heart is way too weak for all these ups and downs.

So, what do I do while I wait? I have a day job and two other scripts I’m working on. I also struggle with my weight, try to be social with friends and spend time with the husband and dog. Not in that order.

Looking back

Following your dreams takes courage. Yes, it does. Even more than I always I thought. I’ve been thinking a lot about my past lately, about the long road that has brought me here. I watched old acting projects of mine, and I remembered inhabiting that body. Much thinner and younger. I sure was naïve, and optimistic, and self-conscious. I remembered feeling fat and inadequate. Much like I feel now. So, not much has changed, I guess. No matter what size am I, I feel like I don’t measure up. I also criticized my acting skills and my accent. Those have changed for sure. At the end, I realized I’m my worst critic. I got in my own way. Two of those projects actually aired on TV, and yet I felt like a loser, a poser, another person in LA saying they were an actor with nothing to show for.

Except I did have something to show for, didn’t I? So, why was I so hard on myself? And why exactly did I stop auditioning? Was it fear? Was it the day job that ate up over three years of my life? Was self-consciousness? Was the voice of the naysayers too loud in my head? I guess in the end it was all of it. It’s not like it’s been any easier being a writer. It’s not like there’s no rejection or negative feedback or nasty attitude with writing. On the contrary, sometimes I feel people are harsher to writers then actors.

I knew it was hard enough to pursue one dream. I didn’t think there would be room for a second one. So I chose writing. But was it a choice out of fear? Is it safer to hide behind a computer than to put my face out there for the world to see?

I think I always felt that spending money on acting classes was somehow bad and wasteful and yet, I’ve spent (God, I’m afraid to say) close to ten thousand dollars in writing classes without even flinching. Well, I did flinch. Actually I sweated bullets each time wondering where I get the money to cover my other bills, but I still did it. I guess I always felt that I was less than noble for me to want to be an actor. Deep down I guess I thought it was just a secret desire to get attention. Like I spoiled child I had to be watched by all. Somehow, in my head it was more acceptable to be a writer. But I do wish I hadn’t been so hard on my young self, and had allowed me to see where acting could have taken me. I guess it’s a lesson learned. In my next lifetime, I hope I can learn to cope with myself.

Wanna watch me act? Click here.

Strike

Looks like the WGA strike is finally over. I'm very proud of what was achieved and sad for those who are out of work. I guess that kind of includes me since I'm in writing limbo, just waiting to hear good news from a handful of producers.

27 Dresses

I just saw 27 Dresses and I have to say after all the mix reviews, I had a good time. I’m not a huge fan of romantic comedies and I knew from the trailer exactly where the plot was going, but I still thought that they had enough cute, funny moments to sustain my attention. I particularly like going to see it with a girlfriend on Super Bowl Sunday, but that’s a whole other discussion.

I must say I was worried and excited before seeing it. I have been working on this wedding comedy for almost a year now (on and off), so I had to check out another movie about the same subject. Mine is not a rom-com, though, it’s more about women and how insane they can go while planning a wedding. Oh, and it’s about so much more. I guess you’ll have to read it to truly understand.

I was relieved. There are almost no similarities between this movie and my script. Aside from some of the abuse bridesmaids can get. And the lack of appreciation brides seem to have for the money and time invested in their “special day.” Okay, I had promised myself I wouldn’t go into a rampage about my one time experience as a bridesmaid. There’s a reason why I had a small wedding without any fuss or puffy dresses.

I came home wishing I had the script in front of me. I haven’t been able to find it online. I was also surprised to see how many stories can come out with just the backdrop of a wedding. I told an older friend awhile back that it felt like it was wedding season. She told me: “That’s your twenties for you.” I guess that’s why we can’t stop writing about it.

Here Come the Bridesmaids

"Here Come the Bridesmaids" was named finalist in the 2008 Broad Humor Film Festival.

A comedy about weddings, women and the secrets they keep from each other.

Logline: Three bridesmaids kidnap a bridezilla on her wedding day to stop her from getting married.

Synopsis:

Amanda is a successful radio talk-show host. She preaches to millions of women about how to succeed in life. Her number one advice: “dump that jerk.” Amanda believes men are dead weight and marriage is for women with no goals in life. There’s only one catch: Amanda is madly in love and has recently said “yes” to her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. Her best friends and bridesmaids are convinced she has lost her mind and will stop at nothing to call off the wedding.

© 2008 Julia Camara