Only in LA – part 2

Read Only in LA part 1 here

Yesterday I went to have coffee with a friend. I sat at the coffee shop with a sinking feeling in my gut. I just knew I had given her the wrong address. After I got her on the phone and confirmed my stupidity, (I’m not allowed to make fun of any other idiots for at least 72 hours, this is my self-imposed punishment) I drove the few extra blocks to the correct coffee shop. It wasn’t even a Starbucks, who knew there were so many chains with stores blocks away from each other. We sure like our overpriced coffee here in L.A.

Anyway, I get there feeling like crap because I left her waiting for a half an hour, and there’s a creepy guy sitting on a table next to her, chatting away with her. Let me remind you, this is at 10 am on a Tuesday. (She’s an actress, I’m a writer, these are our excuses for the free time in the middle of the week.) So, weird guy is in his late 50s (my guesstimate), has a large bag with wheels on it, has a five o’clock shadow, wears several layers of clothing (it was a very sunny day) and a baseball cap.

He was busy showing her some sort of manuscript of something he transcribed when I arrived. He kept on talking for a good five minutes after I sat down, barely allowing me to get a “Hi, sorry I’m an idiot” in.

Boy, did he have things to say. He told us how he once lived in the valley, and how he doesn’t have a car or needs one in L.A. He must be the only one, I thought. He also told us about his love for movies, Paris Hilton and the City of Pasadena. He also managed to use the priceless line: “Do you collect anything?” after telling us about his passion for antiques and coin collecting.



You must be wondering what we did to entice him into befriend us, telling us so many personal things and monopolizing most of our coffee time. The answer is: nothing. We just sat there, wishing he’d take a hint, nodding and smiling. Women are way too nice. If I were crazy looking and approached some random guy, he’d for sure walk away. But I just don’t have in my to be rude to an apparently harmless nut.

Eventually he got quiet and started going through some coins he took out of his bag. We also spent a large amount of time in the bathroom. (Sorry, I couldn’t help but notice.) We got on with our conversation and ended up having a very good time talking about career goals, life, husbands and the film industry in general.

Creepy guy even felt the need to say good-bye to us before he left. He let us know he had to go to catch the Pasadena Library still open. I know, I was just dying to know where he was going from there. I’m surprised he didn’t ask for our phone numbers…

I believe L.A. is one of the few places in this planet where certain characters like this roam through the streets, populate coffee shops, laundry mats, restaurants and other businesses. They walk among the actors, musicians, filmmakers, writers and other artists. And because artists can be a little eccentric they blend in seamlessly, until they come up to you on a Tuesday morning.

I wondered where he lived and what he did for money, but maybe that’s the beauty and mystery of a character like him.

Feel free to use him as a character in your next novel or screenplay.

Spring in LA

I have to say I’m not one of those transplants that walks around complaining about the lack of weather, rain and four seasons in southern California. I love that I’m able to spend March through October sometimes in shorts, tank-tops and sandals. I did enjoy the rain we got this year. I remember napping to the sound of the rain one afternoon in January. It’s one of those memories I’ll treasure forever. But the sunny weather here keeps me always sunny on the inside. (Is that cheese to say?) Plus, I have a lot of fond memories of summertime; my wedding, moving into our place in Santa Monica, vacations… What can I say? Makes me want to write a happy screenplay.


This is kind of a cheat because it was taken in Santa Barbara in December, but it does illustrate my point that there are no gloomy days in California (or very few ones)

Mom's the inspiration

The entry below is the synopsis for the script my mom inspired me to write when she was visiting from Brazil. I must say she's no where near as wacky as my character and has never done anything as crazy as keeping a secret storage unit. (Not that I know of...) Anyway, I'm still working on the script, but there it is.

Retail Therapy

A comedy by Julia Camara

Logline: An ad executive goes to great lengths to keep her shopping addiction secret. When she’s caught shopping by her husband and family she’ll have to go to rehab.

Synopsis:

Shopping is Holly’s life, fashion her religion. After many failed attempts at quitting her debt accruing habit, she decides it's just easier to keep it a secret from her loved ones. When her nosy neighbor Arlene discovers her hiding place for her goods, a hidden storage unit, Holly jumps through hoops to keep her quiet until she can jump no longer. As Arlene blows the whistle Holly is forced to sell her designer clothes and agrees to rehab. In rehab she meets Demetria, a kindred spirit with as much love for retail as Holly. They join forces the moment they get out. Together they are unstoppable.


© 2008 Julia Camara

Quotes

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
– Ray Bradbury

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."
– E.L. Doctorow

Penelope - Spoiler alert!

This is not a review. Last week I went to a free screening of “Penelope.” Aside from everything the critics may have said, I still enjoyed it for my own reasons. I was curious to see a movie with the same themes as my script “Plastic” that was light, funny, cute and ultimately has a positive message. I’m starting to think I’m incapable of writing anything even close to light when it comes to the subject of female body image. My mind has been stuck on it for quite a while. Two scripts finished, and the third in the works, one of these days I’ll move on and stop asking how far women will go in the name of beauty.

If only I could be like Penelope and break my own curse by saying the powerful words: “I like myself the way I am.” Maybe when I do, I’ll be able to write about women who don’t diet obsessively, who don’t use food to hide from their feelings, who don’t get horribly disfigured by other enraged women, who don’t turn into full size Barbie dolls.

Whatever others might say about the movie, it struck me, it moved me, and it made sense to me. If nothing else, it made me wish life were that simple. One epiphany and your whole life is changed, you suddenly accept yourself. I’ve been working on that for 28 years, and haven’t quite mastered it. Would Penelope’s snout come back on days she feels ugly and less accepting of herself? Now, that would be more realistic. Still, I think everyone wishes they could find someone who would love then even if they had a pig snout. But in real life you’d be calling Dr. 90210, curse or not…